Ask A Plant Stylist: The Five Life Lessons Plants Have Taught Me
There is a phrase that goes “How lovely the silence of growing things.” Caring for plants can be a beautiful, and transcendent experience. It demands that we learn patience. Plants make us slow down our harried life experience. They invite us to become one again with nature. They help us center ourselves and our being. I’ve been on this plant journey a little over five years now and here are some of my best life lessons that plants have taught me:
BE YOUR OWN PERSON
Plants don’t care about what the other plant next to them is doing. They don’t stress about being successful enough or if they are well-liked. They don’t give a flying fig about if you feel they deserve to be in space.
Neither should you.
Just like people, plants need different situations to thrive and grow. They will sacrifice and suck the energy out of a dying leaf or branch to preserve the rest. They will move and adjust to find the light to survive.
What works for one plant, or person isn’t going to work for the next. You need to find and develop your own set of unique talents and give them to the world. So go ahead and grow toward the light girl, and be your own beautiful person.
YOU CAN’T FORCE PROGRESS
As plants grow we have to consistently water them, place them in the proper light, and feed them nutrients. We have to check for pests. If it's a tropical plant we have to make sure it has proper humidity, and keep it away from drafts. It is a delicate balance, and if we care for them consistently and carefully, they flourish.
Plant care requires careful persistence. If we give them optimal care they thrive. We can’t however rush the process. You may want to help that flowering bud open on your peace lily, but you have to let it be. If we try to rush the process it can ultimately be damaging to the plant itself.
The same thing goes for us. Look at where you are in your life now. My, how far you have come. All of the good and bad things that have happened to you have brought you to this moment that you are now. They’ve shaped you for better or worse. The thing is, you’ve learned. You may not be where you want to be now, but you ARE getting there. Just like you can’t force progress with plants, you cannot force it with yourself. Lean in, and learn what you need to learn.
TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING IS NOT ALWAYS GOOD
Sunlight, water, and fertilizer are all good things, but too much of them could be detrimental to your plant.
For example, I learned from my big mama monstera years ago that she doesn't like to be in direct sun. Why? Because in the wild they grow on the jungle floors and climb the trees. When I put her in full sun, (which I thought was ideal as a beginning plant parent), I saw she got sunburned. Bright spots on her beautiful green leaves. Too much sun was not a good thing.
We need to realize that many things that are good can be toxic, or fatal in larger qualities. We ourselves can be too caring, generous, too much of a “Yes” person. So much so that we sacrifice our own well-being and mental health with the purpose of helping those around us. This leads me to my next point.
BOUNDARIES ARE HEALTHY AND NECESSARY
Plants just like people will tell you what they need and what they do not like. Above I talked about my big mama monstera and how she did not like direct sun.
Peace lilies will let you know when they need to be watered by wilting, or “fainting.” Some people will think the plant is dead, and throw it out. I can’t tell you how many peace lilies I’ve seen on the sidewalk come garbage collection day.
How many plants could have been saved if their owners just knew that the plant was trying to tell it what it needed? In my experience, people like to be told what they need instead of you just guessing. If you need some alone time from the kids, or your spouse to fill your well, say that. If you need to say “no” to a project someone wants you to do, but it’s not in line with what you do, say “no.” Remember no is a complete sentence and you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why.
THE BEAUTY OF LETTING THINGS GO
To everything, there is a season and to every time a purpose. Some plants just die, no matter what we do. It is just their time. As heartbreaking as that can be to some, it is just part of the life cycle. I’ve for sure lost plants that I’ve LOVED to pests or the elements. I’ve mourned them and replaced them in time.
However, there is great beauty in letting things go that are out of your control. How often do we hold on to relationships, jobs, and things that are no longer serving us? I had been holding on to a “friendship” a little longer than I needed to. This person wasn’t adding any value to my life and I felt like I was always walking on eggshells around them. I couldn't celebrate any wins in my life without them feeling jealous and talking behind my back to other people. This person was always angry and wanted me to be angry and sink down in the hole of misery with them. Lemme tell you, last year I let that friendship go because they were angry that I didn’t do something that I wanted them to do. It was the most freeing thing I have experienced. Sometimes you just gotta let things go.
We have a lot to learn from plants. If we are willing to listen, observe, and apply, they can teach us oh so much. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this and can apply some of these tools in your life! If you are needing help on your botanical journey feel free to schedule a consultation and visit our plant shop to add some more new green friends to your life!